I have been so sick it's not even funny. Turns out a couple of weeks ago, after a trip to the doctor, I had asthmatic bronchitis. I had to go on antibiotics and nebulizer treatments. The cough is still lingering. After all the coughing, last week I totally lost my voice. I am now on day 8 with no voice...so I went to the ENT yesterday. Turns out I have a sinus infection as well as the laryngitis, so he put me on prednisone dose pack for the laryngitis, an antibiotic for the sinus infection and a nasal spray to get rid of all the congestion. Hopefully I'll get my voice back soon, as a talker this is really driving me crazy.
My moods have been really stable...I've been doing great in that department. I am on Lamictal 200mg, Celexa 40mg, Seroquel XR 150mg and Abilify 30mg. Going back on my meds was the best thing I've done this pregnancy. It has definitely helped me be able to function.
The kids are doing great...My good stable moods definitely set the tone in the house. Things couldn't get any better.
Friday, March 19, 2010
Monday, March 1, 2010
A pic of me
Hubby was taking pictures the other day and he took a couple of me...one while at the computer and another while I was knitting. I figured I'd share
A best friend lost
I'm now 14 weeks pregnant and feeling much better. At the 12 week mark, I went back on my meds. That totally helped my mood. It was nice to finally get out of bed. During that time, it was nice to know who my true friends were.
M and I have been best friends since we met 8 years ago. Our christianity brought us together. I was having a yard sale 9 years ago and we sold her a fan. The following year, we had another yard sale that she and her mom came to and I invited her in. Her noticing that I'm a christian was an instant connection between us.
We had a lapse in our friendship a few years ago during this same time of year, ironically enough. Our friendship was rekindled after Pope John Paul died. I thought things were going well.
M suffered from anxiety and agoraphobia for a long time. During that time, Krista and I would go over to her house, sometimes bringing lunch. We didn't go too often because M would sleep so much. Apparently I wasn't a good friend during that time, even though I was the only support outside of her husband that she had. No-one else made a big deal about her walking to the end of her driveway alone one day, except me. No-one was proud of her like I was when she started going out. Apparently, that's not good enough.
It all boiled down to one evening a couple of weeks ago. M called me around 9:30pm, after I had taken my meds and was already asleep. She asked me to take her kids for the night because her stepdad was rushed to the hospital and she didn't want to go alone. There were several factors as to why I couldnt' take the kids, but I would've if I could've. That is not understood. After I take my meds, I am out of it and do not feel comfortable with another's child in my care. Her and my hubby don't get along, and I had an ultrasound appt the next morning. I know she would'nt want them in his care, and I had already made a commitment to watch someone else's child the next morning at 8. Apparently I didn't spread myself thin enough, because that broke our friendship.
I was accused of not being remorseful, yet she would not talk to me. She would not tell me how her stepdad was doing, I still don't know if he ok. I was debating on emailing her to tell her my mom does NOT have cancer, but I don't know if she cares. My heart tore in two, a part of me died with the friendship, but the ball was and is in her court. I will not allow myself to be hurt anymore. I will not be a victim, be accused of things that certainly were and are not true.
It's sad that our friendship had to end, especially in the way it had. I wished her and her family well, wanting nothing but health and happiness for them. What do I get back? My daughter coming home from school today telling me that H (M's daughter) told her they couldn't play anymore because "my mom and your mom aren't friends anymore". I think that is something that children do not need to know about, unless they ask.
All in all, I'm finally doing ok. It seems as though she doesn't care, who knows, she wouldn't talk to me, so I can just assume. I have Tammy and my other mom freinds from church....although I don't think I'll ever trust anyone again, not the way I trusted M.
M and I have been best friends since we met 8 years ago. Our christianity brought us together. I was having a yard sale 9 years ago and we sold her a fan. The following year, we had another yard sale that she and her mom came to and I invited her in. Her noticing that I'm a christian was an instant connection between us.
We had a lapse in our friendship a few years ago during this same time of year, ironically enough. Our friendship was rekindled after Pope John Paul died. I thought things were going well.
M suffered from anxiety and agoraphobia for a long time. During that time, Krista and I would go over to her house, sometimes bringing lunch. We didn't go too often because M would sleep so much. Apparently I wasn't a good friend during that time, even though I was the only support outside of her husband that she had. No-one else made a big deal about her walking to the end of her driveway alone one day, except me. No-one was proud of her like I was when she started going out. Apparently, that's not good enough.
It all boiled down to one evening a couple of weeks ago. M called me around 9:30pm, after I had taken my meds and was already asleep. She asked me to take her kids for the night because her stepdad was rushed to the hospital and she didn't want to go alone. There were several factors as to why I couldnt' take the kids, but I would've if I could've. That is not understood. After I take my meds, I am out of it and do not feel comfortable with another's child in my care. Her and my hubby don't get along, and I had an ultrasound appt the next morning. I know she would'nt want them in his care, and I had already made a commitment to watch someone else's child the next morning at 8. Apparently I didn't spread myself thin enough, because that broke our friendship.
I was accused of not being remorseful, yet she would not talk to me. She would not tell me how her stepdad was doing, I still don't know if he ok. I was debating on emailing her to tell her my mom does NOT have cancer, but I don't know if she cares. My heart tore in two, a part of me died with the friendship, but the ball was and is in her court. I will not allow myself to be hurt anymore. I will not be a victim, be accused of things that certainly were and are not true.
It's sad that our friendship had to end, especially in the way it had. I wished her and her family well, wanting nothing but health and happiness for them. What do I get back? My daughter coming home from school today telling me that H (M's daughter) told her they couldn't play anymore because "my mom and your mom aren't friends anymore". I think that is something that children do not need to know about, unless they ask.
All in all, I'm finally doing ok. It seems as though she doesn't care, who knows, she wouldn't talk to me, so I can just assume. I have Tammy and my other mom freinds from church....although I don't think I'll ever trust anyone again, not the way I trusted M.
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