A crazy few weeks

I sunk into a really deep depression a few weeks ago and ended up in the hospital. Bob said he noticed a depression for the past few months, that I slowly lost interest in everything that matters in life. The thing is, I've been dealing with this for so long, I don't really I'm depressed until it's really bad. Makes sense to Dr. K. Needless to say, I wanted to die, to put it bluntly. I ended up signing myself into the hospital, as I didn't feel safe around myself. I couldn't trust myself to not do anything.

So, it was actually a good experience and I've learned a lot of different coping skills and positive things about myself. There were lots of group therapies throughout the day and they were very helpful.

I was happy to be home, the kids missed me so much, and I missed them. I was able to work on getting better without any distractions. They increased my abilify from 10mg to 15mg, which made me feel better, but still not close to 100%. Dr. K increased it to 30% and now I'm on top of my game, feeling about 95% better. I am where I need to be at the moment, and that's it, I live for the moment, and not worry about the future.

It's been a while

I know it's been a while since I posted. My moods have been all over the place, and my dr added seroquel to my cocktail to help me sleep at night. Bob has to work tomorrow and I have my therapy. I called a friend to sit with the kids in case he had to work late, and he said "why can't you just not go". He doesn't understand how important it is that i go to therapy. It's been a couple of weeks and then she is going on vacation for a couple of weeks. Ugh, it's hard when I don'thave the support I need in order to take care of my mental health. I wish things were different.

It

My sleep is ugh

I haven't been sleeping well at all. I'll go to bed and wake up 3 hours later wide awake for a couple of hours and then go back to sleep. I'll sleep for 2 hrs before waking up for the day...that equals about 5 hrs of broken sleep. Thankfully I go to Dr. K today so hopefully we can do something about it.

That's about all I've been dealing with lately. I'm keeping busy knitting and starting a knitting ministry at church. I'm working out all the details now and am excited about it.

Nothing New

I know it's been a little while. Not much going on here on the bipolar front. I had an off day yesterday, but nothing to write home about. We've been keeping busy this summer going to the beach and river. B is on his 3rd week with no work, but he's going to help his brother tomorrow. Matt is going with him and is so excited, he went right to bed. Anna wants to go, my little tomboy, but one is enough.

my show is coming on, so I'm going to sign off for the night.

Trying to get better

The depression came back, this time real quick. I called Dr. K right away and he increased my celexa. Hopefully I'll be back to myself soon. I really don't like this...I just want to be back to myself.

In other news, I was accepted into college, Georgian Court...although I'm just waiting to hear from federal aid or else I can't go...it's just way tooo expensive. I want to major in early childhood education with a minor in spanish. I just love spanish and want to back into it. It's really useful this day in age.

That's about all for now...until next time...Peace

Another med adjustment

So I had my pdoc appt today and we made more med adjustments. We both want to keep me from going back to where I was the last time I was there, which was a super sad state. So, my lamictal and abilify have been increased. I have seen a remarkable difference so far, which is good, so it can only get better from here.

Hubby took the kids to the beach today for the entire day, so it was a nice me day. I got the house clean, went foodshopping alone and just had some me time. I feel so refreshed right now. The kids are totally wiped out from being at the beach fronm 9am to 3pm, but that's a good thing. they'll sleep good tonight!!! :)